Of course, when our partners are sloppy around the house, we don't like that! But as normal as it sometimes can get, it just sends us in a spiral of very emotional thoughts and can greatly affect our relationship over time. Failing to bring ourselves out of that spiral can't mean good. We might end up souring how we see our partners more than we should. In this episode, Dr. Morgan Cutlip speaks about the responsibility we have on how we see our partners, how parenthood affects satisfaction, the common unexplored self-expectations for women and moms, maternal gatekeeping, and how to involve your partner right from the beginning in motherhood.
Listen to how you can strengthen your relationship before parenthood in this episode of the Mamas in Training Podcast with Dr. Morgan Cutlip!
Check Your Conclusions About Your Partner
We need to be aware of two contributing types of ideas when we form conclusions about our partners inside our heads. Dr. Morgan calls these individual pieces and dynamic pieces. Most of what drives our minds when triggered by something our partners did fall under individual pieces. How? Because when we don't consider our partner's side, we love to fill in the blank with negative thoughts when something pisses us off in the relationship. Try recalling the moments where you were so mad that you went silent.
When we go quiet, that's where it starts. Usually, when we go silent, we start going all over the place inside our heads. Let's say your partner didn't do the dishes, and it pissed you off. You go quiet, and you think, "they doesn't care about cleanliness." If so, then maybe, "they also doesn't care about my regards for organizing." And if that's the case, perhaps, "they doesn't respect me." If we can pause, looking back at the escalation will make us realize how quickly we tend to jump to conclusions. These conclusions, most of the time, are far from what's real. Nonetheless, the damages they inflict on relationships manifest.
What are unexplored expectations? Find out from Dr. Morgan Cutlip in this episode of the Mamas in Training Podcast!
About Dr. Morgan Cutlip:
Morgan Cutlip earned her Master's in Human Development and Family Science from The Ohio State University and her Doctorate in Counseling Psychology from the University of Akron. Throughout her educational experience, she studied relationship development, maintenance, and predictors of relationship success.
Morgan Cutlip continues to pursue her passion for helping others develop and maintain healthy relationships as she directs Research and Development at Love Thinks, LLC. There she conducts research on program effectiveness, manages the blog at mylovethinks.com, and develops innovative products for delivering relationship education.
Her published research on the "How to Avoid Falling for a Jerk" program won the Family Consumer Science Research study of the year. She is also the owner and CEO of STAT Research & Consulting, where she contracts with non-profits, companies, and government organizations to provide research and statistical report design services.
She has presented topics related to emerging adults and millennials, premarital predictors of marital success, and marital relationships in conference keynotes, including Smart Marriages, NARME, and Women of Purpose. She has appeared on the television show "Marriage Uncensored."
She has been happily married for nine years and is the proud mother of two rambunctious preschoolers.
Outline of the episode:
- [02:08] Having conflicting feelings in motherhood is a given
- [05:51] What can we do to involve our partners more before parenthood?
- [08:23] Parenthood affects women and men differently in terms of satisfaction
- [11:48] The unexplored expectations women have of themselves
- [16:45] On the processes of being a motherless-mother
- [22:00] How can a couple stay close-knit through all the ups and downs?
- [24:06] You have a responsibility for how you see your partner in your head!
- [28:54] Dr. Morgan Cutlip – on how maternal gatekeeping unfolds and affects
- [33:25] There is value in doing things differently as parents
- [37:26] The importance of communication and messaging when shifting out a bad mindset of your partner
Listen to Episode 11: "Being a Motherless Mother..."
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