Losing a baby is the greatest tragedy. The feeling is not something that any average person would understand. Today, Liz tells us the whole story of how she went through it. In this episode, Liz Lehmann talks about the benefits and purpose of having a doula, the definition of grief that she decided to live with, and her whole experience with losing a child to stillbirth. Despite the pain she and her husband went through with losing their baby, Liz learned how to accept everything that happened for what it is. No matter how antagonistic the odds were for her and her child, for Liz, her story didn't end with stillbirth—because it doesn't have to.
Find out how she found her sunshine after stillbirth in this episode of the Mamas in Training Podcast with Liz Lehmann!
Mom, Woman – Keep Going!
When Liz and her husband at the time lost their son to stillbirth, it was an experience she couldn't put into words. Everything, including herself, felt so different all of a sudden. As she describes, she had it easier during the moment. Because she was put to sleep, she had the chance to rest for a little while after hearing the bad news while her husband was left awake—to witness and experience everything. Still, she will have to face the harsh reality set for her, as a woman and a mother, when she wakes up. She was greeted with questions of the 'what did you and not do' theme when she did. Liz said, "I was so angry at my body for a really long time because we are just expected to be able to always have these babies like it's nothing." Liz's reflection was sad and common. And it's something that the majority of women have experienced and will experience later on.
No matter how hard Liz, or all the other women that experienced the same position as her, advocates for themselves and their babies, still it will only sometimes take one thing to go wrong for something terrible to happen. Even when 472,000 things go right, Liz would say. What's worse, women are expected to keep moving even after something grave as a stillbirth. Expected to keep working, keep looking good, keep the house clean, and keep the partnership going like it's all nothing. Again, this scenario is sad and common. And it is sad and common for most women. "It's all bull***t and unfair!" is how Liz would describe it all… We want every woman and mom to know these: if you wish to rest, complain, express your real feelings or not is all totally up to you. The shots are yours to make. Because what you go through is not, and never is, nothing.
Listen to Liz's entire experience with stillbirth in this episode of the Mamas in Training Podcast!
About Liz Lehmann:
Liz Lehmann is a certified postpartum, non-medical doula with a focus on full-family health and wellness support, including breastfeeding guidance, newborn care, postpartum depression and anxiety, meal preparation, and Whole 30.
Outline of the episode:
- [05:08] Why is it essential to have a doula? – From a doula who had a doula.
- [10:48] Conflicting bits of advice can bring stress to moms too!
- [16:34] On Liz's story on pregnancy.
- [24:25] The experience of Preeclampsia and Bell's palsy during pregnancy.
- [32:18] After a stillbirth, what happens to you, your child, and the family?
- [40:05] The son I lost to stillbirth saved my life from Disseminated intravascular coagulation (DIC).
- [47:52] "What happened to my baby is what it is except..."
- [56:36] The idea of grief that everyone needs to hear about.
- [1:04:08] My children were who they needed to be even after the stillbirth.
- [1:09:15] When you're looking for a doula, know that…
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Intrauterine Fetal Demise Support - birthinjurycenter.org/types-of
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